Growing up, we are so used to being told what “not” to do and what not to be. Don’t say bad words. Don’t stay out too late. Don’t hang out with that crowd. Don’t get pregnant. Don’t dress inappropriately. Don’t act like a kid. Don’t do this and don’t do that. Once we’re older, it kind of sticks in our system. I believe society as a whole has this deficiency.
People usually try to find fault in others first. Teachers would usually pay more attention on their students’ mistakes. Employers have more regulations focused on punishments instead of rewards for their employees. Advertisers would pick on their target market’s imperfections so they can sell their products that promise perfection. People would spend more time talking about everything that’s wrong in their lives and other people’s lives than what’s good. It seems like most of us are always looking at the negative side of life to such an extreme that we’ve forgotten to relish in the beauty that also exists.
With spiritual direction, I realized the value of celebrating small victories. This means, in every good deed that you do or positive change that you experience, no matter how small, savor it. You don’t have to tell the whole cyberworld about it but you should acknowledge it to yourself or share it to your closest friend. This is an attempt to look more closely in the brighter side of things.
When making goals, instead of I want to lose 20 pounds, make it I want to gain more muscle mass. When searching for Mr. Right, instead of “I want to meet someone who wouldn’t hurt me,” say I want to meet someone who would love and cherish me.”
Choose more positive adjectives to describe your feelings, too. When someone asks how you are, choose to say, “I’m fine” over “Not Bad.” When giving instructions use more “dos” rather than “don’ts.” your subordinates will appreciate it.
When you fail in something, accept it, learn from it, and try harder next time. It’s still okay to identify the wrong things that you have done in order to learn from them, but don’t drown yourself in self-pity, worry, and self-deprecating thoughts to a point that you forget your value as a person and as son or daughter of God.
Celebrate your small victories. Your future self will thank you for it.